...but I'm about to post something! See? I'm doing it! You're reading it!

Is it an explanation for my protracted absence? Perhaps some diatribe on the state of the British economy, including how horrified I am that Woolies is on the way out? Ah, some of you may be thinking it's a cunning ploy to get extra birthday wishes for Saturday.

No, it's none of those things. It's youtube clips I found on the Rude Tube website, and I demand that you watch them all NOW!

First up, a stunning rendition of that old Mariah Carey classic, "Ken Lee". Oh my shit it's funny!

Next, a video perhaps filmed in the halls of residence of a certain university in Kingston Upon Hull. Or perhaps not. I personally love the way they put the effort in to hide their faces, but the guy who did the editing obviously thinks they should get all the fame (or ridicule) they deserve.

Now a guy who took a photo of himself every day for six years, and is still doing it. It's a bit hypnotic, with him just staring at you the whole time. Or maybe it's just boring. You decide. Incidentally, as I typed "you decide", I heard the voiceover guy from Big Brother saying it.

Aaaand finally, how much would they have to pay you? Starts sloooow but it's really worth the wait when he gets going...

And BOY does he go...