I hope nobody stood too close to all these while they were going without a lead-lined suit...

Found on Gizmodo

Thanks to Landers for the title! x

I just wailed out loud for the first time in, ooh, days.

They've ruined it! RUINED!

Fucking Boyzone have covered "Better" by Tom Baxter! How could they? It's just awful!

NOT better, WORSE!

Music meme stolen from NittyGritty:

What's your preferred genre of music?
Hmmm. Rock? Alternative?

All-time favorite band/artist?
No Doubt

All-time favorite song?
Oh, can't decide between about four of em. I'll say "Don't Let Me Down" for now.

Is your favorite band mainstream or underground?
Pretty mainstream now.

How many times have you seen them live in concert and/or in a club?
Alas, but once.

How many CDs or MP3s of your favorite band/artist do you have?
Oh, lots! 110 MP3s, maybe 10 CDs. Some of the MP3s are duplicates, from "best of" albums etc.

Can you play any of their songs on guitar/piano/another instrument?
Nope.

Do you know all the lyrics to every song they play?
Pretty much.

What's your favorite radio station?
My iPod.

MTV or Fuse?
Neither, I like Q.

Do you have a ringtone of your favorite band's song?
My phone is always on vibrate...

Rap or Rock?
Rock!

Rather listen to music or be doing this survey?
Both at the same time!

---

Edit: I just actually checked how many MP3s I have - 110! Wow!

This was tacked onto the end of an episode of season four of Supernatural. The hidden talents of Mr Jensen Ackles:

Yeah, there's a reason there's a wrist strap on Wiimotes...

I love the way he calls for "Mama"! I bet he doesn't even live with her, he's just so distraught it's the first thing that pops into his head...

Found on Gizmodo.

*Edited to make it not start playing every time you load the effing page, sorry about that!

For any who aren't aware, this post relates to this post by Landers.

Tom, I can't reply to your private message because it says your inbox is full (again!). I'm actually quite glad; I've been burned before when giving others the power to misrepresent what I write.

Here is my reply:

I understand where you're coming from, but that doesn't mean I agree with you. Yes we all have different foci, and yours was completely off-field in the context of the blog post. In "message board ettiquette" as you put it, it could be considered off topic. It was NOT a debate post, it was a joke.

Landers and I replied to your comments for the same reason you have sent me this message, because there were things that needed replying to. YOU could have stopped at any time, and the difference is you were actually asked to. I think it would have been more appropriate for you to have done so given that the post was not about the fact that you thought it was a bad advert, but about letting people in on the joke.

You were in the wrong and were/are too stubborn to admit it, that was a big part of the problem. As I said in my last comment on the post, you had already stated your case several times, and it had been acknowledged - it felt like you were trying to teach us something, share your wisdom, and that was very patronising. We had already said it's fair enough if you don't find it funny, yet you continued to berate us with the fact that it wasn't funny and why it was not a very good advert. That's not a discussion, it's you trying to make us agree with you. It's not even a debate because you ignored much of what was said to you. The cut and thrust of the debate? I didn't see any; as I said, I felt bludgeoned.

Tom, I agree that it's preferable to discuss things politely, but if others do not want to discuss them you can't make them like you tried to, and that's when things got nasty. Who can you blame for that but the one who wouldn't stop going on about it? Even when you said we should stop, rather than just stopping you tried again to make us see your point of view. I posted a semi-conciliatory comment, and your response was to once again to state your opinion about the advert, ignoring the issue I was referring to.

As I said before, I did enjoy the whole thing, but only because we were laughing at you and your apparent need to make us agree with you.

Once again, you've pretty much ignored the content of my comment and focused on what YOU think, not what I've said. Go through the comments on Landers' post again, reading just our interaction and ignoring everybody else. Can you see what I'm talking about?

As for sending your reply as a private message, I understand why you've done it and as requested I will not share the message at this time. However, given that it contains nothing horrific or incriminating, I really don't see your problem.

I've already acknowledged several times that I understand where you're coming from. The least you could do is consider the possibility that you took the whole thing too far.

...the misfortune of experiencing the most spectacular case of the squirts today.

Scoobydoofus is brought to you today by the letters S, H, I and T, and by the number 2.

...so here is me in a laptop sock thing.

So, tis Thursday.

I had a nice surprise this morning. Landers is on nights again, and this morning he turned up at home with a Christmas tree! Yay! We had debated not getting one cos of the cost - we bought a mini one from Tesco for €1.98 but it truly is pitiful. So it was a lovely surprise. As an interesting(ish) aside, the base cost almost twice as much as the fecking tree! At least we can use it next year, assuming we can find it.

He collapsed on the sofa with a coffee and a sausage and egg sammich, and I attempted to saw an inch off the bottom of the tree with the smallest bluntest hacksaw in existence. Honestly, I'd have been better off with a butter knife. (What felt like...) Several hours later, I finally cut all the way through, and the sudden jerk as the last fibres gave way made my thumb bash and scrape all along the rough edge I had just created. Beaucoup de blood, you'd think I'd hit an artery, but when I sucked it clean there was the most insignificant little scrape you've ever seen! Very sore and bleedy though.

Talking of bleedy, Hillie is still whining, but now she's also trying to get Eddie to hump her. He's a bit confused, cos we had his nuts cut so I don't think the urge is quite there. Bless.

So, we put the tree in the base to soak and acclimatise to the temperature of the house (which is not much warmer than the temperature outside anyway...). And Landers went to bed. I am very proud of the cats, they have paid no interest whatsoever - I had expected Max to be straight up it, given his tree climbing and getting stuck fetish. And I am also please that Eddie has resisted pissing up it. So far.

There was a fox hunt somewhere behind our house this afternoon- lots of barking and howling and trumpety things. Hillie decided to join in with the howling, which did not go down well...

When Landers got up, he sat and watched me decorate it, picking on my light arranging skills and complaining about the hangy things he bought to use instead of string for the baubles. It looks lovely, in my opinion - we have deep red, dark gold and bronze baubles - some shiny and some matt, and little wicker balls, and golden snowflakes. I can't post a picture cos we've misplaced our good camera. I think Landers has "lost" it so we have to buy a new one. Anyway, I had lots of super jolly fun putting all the decorations on, but halfway through I noticed my hands getting all itchy, and when I looked I saw loads of little blotches all over them. Seems I'm allergic to pine needles. Bah. Oh well, it's only once a year, innit.

We had an email from our ISP yesterday saying we were almost at our download limit, and we should go to their website to sort it aaaht. So I did. While I was there, I decided to take a look at their Service Status page. This is what I got.

I just ate half a box of Fox's Speciality bikkits. Feel a bit sick.

Aren't you glad I shared all that? The correct answer is yes.

I give you...

Bollocky Titwank!

(It's the big one in the middle, by the way.)

If you have Google Earth (and who doesn't?!) you can click on this link to take you straight there!

(That link may download a KMZ file instead, if it does, just double click on it, that should open Google Earth.)

Thanks for all the lovely birthday wishes here and on facebook. I've had a lovely day so far, I had a nice lie in - nothing new there! - followed by extreme present openage.

I had a game for the Xbox, some books (wheeeeek!), a screaming flying monkey and a star. There will soon be a star named after me. Or perhaps named "Bollocky Titwank", I haven't decided yet. I'll have to read the booklet thing and see if there are any restrictions.

The books and the game are just what I wanted, thanks to the wonders of Amazon's wishlist! Marvellous marvellousness. I am already three chapters into one of the books.

I then took the rubbish out, and Landers made me the best cheese on toast in the world, ever. Then he went to work for a couple of hours, and I stayed in while the boiler man gave us a service (insert obligatory "oo-er missus" here).

I gave Landers a laughing fit last night by inventing a new word. Kneebow. As in, the crook of the elbow of your knee. Landers sits on the sofa with his legs tucked up. Last night, Max came in and jumped up on the back of the sofa, walked behind me, jumped down and started to settle into Landers' kneebow, and as he did, I said (in a Max voice, which sounds like me trying to do a Homer Simpson impression) "Mmmmm, kneebows". And Landers spent 40 minutes giggling, once I had explained what a kneebow was.

Incidentally, Huw sounds like Stewie Griffin. Hillie sounds like the Queen, and Eddie is a 1920s Fighter Pilot. Tally ho.

The cats have been banished from the house for doing three poos in the kitchen this morning. They do not do this normally, and one was runny, so I think they are ill but Landers is VERY angry with them, even though they miaowed to go out and we ignored them (thinking it was a "feed me" miaow, not an "I need the fucking toilet" miaow). Or perhaps they were misguided birthday presents. Who can say? Cat's are a mystery wrapped in an enigma covered in fur.

We think Hillie is in season. It's hard to tell cos quite often there is no... ahem... evidence (she's very fastidious, is our Hillie. Either that or she just likes the fact she can reach down there with her tongue). She is very grumbly and whiny for no reason, and when you ask her what's wrong, she looks at you like you're a total div. She also sits down very quickly whenever Eddie goes near her. This is interesting (her being in season, I mean) because Helen's dog Jesse is in season too! Bless, they have synchronised, like women apparently do when they live together. Not that Hillie and Jesse live together, but they spend a lot of time together. Bless. Synchronised doggy periods. BFF!

Right, off to play on the Xbox now until Landers comes home to make my birthday tea. Ta-ra!

...but I'm about to post something! See? I'm doing it! You're reading it!

Is it an explanation for my protracted absence? Perhaps some diatribe on the state of the British economy, including how horrified I am that Woolies is on the way out? Ah, some of you may be thinking it's a cunning ploy to get extra birthday wishes for Saturday.

No, it's none of those things. It's youtube clips I found on the Rude Tube website, and I demand that you watch them all NOW!

First up, a stunning rendition of that old Mariah Carey classic, "Ken Lee". Oh my shit it's funny!

Next, a video perhaps filmed in the halls of residence of a certain university in Kingston Upon Hull. Or perhaps not. I personally love the way they put the effort in to hide their faces, but the guy who did the editing obviously thinks they should get all the fame (or ridicule) they deserve.

Now a guy who took a photo of himself every day for six years, and is still doing it. It's a bit hypnotic, with him just staring at you the whole time. Or maybe it's just boring. You decide. Incidentally, as I typed "you decide", I heard the voiceover guy from Big Brother saying it.

Aaaand finally, how much would they have to pay you? Starts sloooow but it's really worth the wait when he gets going...

And BOY does he go...