by
scoobydoofus
@ 2008-08-05 - 15:36:14
On Sunday, I witnessed Landers consuming Red Bull.
I detest the stuff - it tastes like cheap sweets. A club we frequent (or rather infrequent) in Birmingham used to charge six squid for a pint glass, 6 shots of vodka and a can of it, and after two of those (not forgetting all the lager I'd been drinking before we got there) I had a little lie down on the dancefloor. The dancefloor in Snobs is not a very hygenic place to lie down. I then got put in a taxi home, was conned out of an extra £20 by the driver (he actually drove me to a cashpoint to get the extra out!) and left my new jacket on the seat when I stumbled out of the back of the car. I think I chased it down the road, but I probably just fell in the general direction of the taxi. I vividly remember putting my key in the front door, but the next thing I remember is waking up in bed the next day, undressed, and thinking to myself "well done me!" for getting that far.
What actually happened was that my flatmate came home with her girlfriend and found me flat on my face with my legs sticking out into the hallway next to a puddle of black sick, key still in the door. They managed to manhandle (lesbianhandle?) me into my room, with me grunting obscenities in the manner of Father Jack, and at some point booting the doorframe, chipping my ankle bone thing.
Anyway, I've not touched the stuff since then. Until Sunday.
We've got the main body of my family over for a visit at the moment. My parents, their three current foster kids, my older sister, her two-year old, my brother, and my other sister's two eldest kids. Yes, ten people. Anyway, we took my brother out on Sunday, and towards the end of the evening, he talked us into partaking in his current thing, the Jaegerbomb. A shot of Jaegermeister, topped up with Red Bull.
Now bearing in mind that Landers is a total lightweight, and had consumed a Guinness, several pints of lager and a couple of voddie and cokes, the Jaegermeister probably wasn't a good idea.
Now factor into the equasion that Red Bull contains about six types of sugar, and Landers isn't supposed to have too much sugar - especially not this obscure chemically produced crap.
We downed the drinks.
Landers slurred exclaimed "Eugh, it tastes like Tixylix!"
Skip forward 30 seconds and cue Landers with his tongue in the shot glass trying to get the dregs. Can't have tasted that bad then, eh?
Landers spent the remainder of the evening giggling, having very wide eyes and dilated pupils, using the shot glasses as monacles and giggling some more.
After a quick trip to Supermacs for a burger and curry fries my dad drove us home, and all the way there my brother and Landers fought over control of the stereo, using a plastic fork as a weapon. Somehow this is my fault.
The evils of Red Bull.
EDIT:
Lesbianhandle sounds like a dildo, doesn't it!
